2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
