I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
