By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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