New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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