I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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