She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
