sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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