carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
