Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
