can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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