New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
