My nipple is on Facebook.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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