I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
