We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
