Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
