is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
