is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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