i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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