yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
