I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
