OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
pray to the hookup gods
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
