Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
