OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
