Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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