I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
