is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
