Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize