What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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