ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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