So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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