Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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