There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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