Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
