My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
