another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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