1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
