you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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