how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
