The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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