It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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