By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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