whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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