I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
