so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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