i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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