All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
