Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
