you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
