Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
