it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
try to milk me bitch
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