yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
