sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
