someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
