My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
