I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
