i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
