do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
