what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize