office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
