Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
