Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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